I got this new phone. It's superfancy. Right now, this post is coming FROM THE PHONE HOLY SHIT BRO. It's a heady feeling. Tonight I spent the better part of two movies downloading a bunch of apps for the phone. All hail the phone. I got one that takes pictures and makes them look like shitty old polaroids. Progress! Another that figures out restaurant tips for me. Bad at math! Another that turns the camera flash into a kickbutt flashlight. Actually kinda useful!
Soon, our phones will be able to produce food and wipe our asses, and render all human contact obsolete. I don't need to visit gramma, when there's a Virtual Granny app for that!*
All hail the phone.
*not an actual app...yet