13 April 2010

Doubling Down: A KFC Adventure

Well, folks. Someone out there has to take one for the team, and why not me? Today's adventure is the Double Down from KFC.

I first heard about KFC's latest abomination a couple weeks ago, when they revealed that yes indeed they were legitimately going to be selling the sandwich made of two boneless chicken breast fillets, pepper jack cheese, two strips of bacon and something called the "Colonel's Sauce." Ew.

In retrospect, I should have gotten just the sandwich, if one can call it that, and not the combo meal, which includes a drink and potato wedges. My problem with many combo meals is that I eat the fries first, because I hate cold fries. Mistake! Big mistake! This slip-up almost done me in.

When I got home, I opened the box containing the abomination. There sat the Double Down, in a thin layer of grease. It looks like a dare. It smells like a dare. It tastes like the USA. Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why you're fat. USA! USA! USA!

The sandwich itself is tasty and meaty. It could actually use a little more cheese, because the pepper jack provides a spiciness to the overall package. Also, and this goes without saying, there could be a little more bacon. Two tiny strips get lost in all that chicken. Four strips would probably be perfect. The "Colonel's Sauce" is a complete mystery, and should probably remain that way. I can't tell if it adds anything or not.

The first couple bites were "handheld," but the sandwich is rather large and greasy, so sadly I had to resort to a knife and fork method. This doesn't take anything away from the experience, aside from having to use less napkins/paper towels. Knife and fork = better for the environment. Also, you get a better-looking cross section of the thing.

About 3/4ths of the way through, I noticed a rumbling in my gut area, and had to pause to take an urgent bathroom break and have a personal double-down. After a walk around the apartment and a few more sips of Pepsi, it was back to the abomination.

All in all, it took about an hour to complete the Double Down, which is about what I expected. There was no way for me to plow into a sandwich of this magnitude. I feel pretty good about completing it, but that may be calling the putt early. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, call the authorities. I love you all, and it's been a wild ride.



Carolyn said...

I have to admit that while I heard people mentioning the "double down", I didn't pay attention to what it actually was. Sounds disgusting in a kinda delicious, horrible kind of way.

Anna said...

It is truly all that, and more. I can't recommend it in good conscience. It's something that you either do, or do not do.

Dok Holocaust said...

I did the Doubledown. In all honesty, I couldn't taste the bacon. at all. the chicken was the best I've ever had from a KFC though, and my captcha on this comment is, oddly, backhot.

Anna said...

Yeah, I couldn't really taste the bacon either. It could use two more slices of bacon and one more slice of pepper jack. Agreed on the chicken; it was very tender and juicy and not dried out at all. Overall, a pretty good sammich.

_coye said...

it almost sounds like a some sexual maneuver, kinda like a donkey-punch. as tempting as the sammie sounds, i have yet to actually go there.