Hay guize!

I am proud to have made my first post over at WildClaw Theatre's Blood Radio. It's a happenin' hub for all things horror: not just film, but stage productions (something WildClaw simply excels at), books, art, events (mostly in the Chicago area, heads up on that, but also horror conventions and gatherings) and a host of other great schtuffs. So get yo' ass over there and check it out, and don't just do it because I'm the newest contributor to the site!*

*but you better, or I'll bust up your face.

Doubling Down: A KFC Adventure

Well, folks. Someone out there has to take one for the team, and why not me? Today's adventure is the Double Down from KFC.

I first heard about KFC's latest abomination a couple weeks ago, when they revealed that yes indeed they were legitimately going to be selling the sandwich made of two boneless chicken breast fillets, pepper jack cheese, two strips of bacon and something called the "Colonel's Sauce." Ew.

In retrospect, I should have gotten just the sandwich, if one can call it that, and not the combo meal, which includes a drink and potato wedges. My problem with many combo meals is that I eat the fries first, because I hate cold fries. Mistake! Big mistake! This slip-up almost done me in.

When I got home, I opened the box containing the abomination. There sat the Double Down, in a thin layer of grease. It looks like a dare. It smells like a dare. It tastes like the USA. Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why you're fat. USA! USA! USA!

The sandwich itself is tasty and meaty. It could actually use a little more cheese, because the pepper jack provides a spiciness to the overall package. Also, and this goes without saying, there could be a little more bacon. Two tiny strips get lost in all that chicken. Four strips would probably be perfect. The "Colonel's Sauce" is a complete mystery, and should probably remain that way. I can't tell if it adds anything or not.

The first couple bites were "handheld," but the sandwich is rather large and greasy, so sadly I had to resort to a knife and fork method. This doesn't take anything away from the experience, aside from having to use less napkins/paper towels. Knife and fork = better for the environment. Also, you get a better-looking cross section of the thing.

About 3/4ths of the way through, I noticed a rumbling in my gut area, and had to pause to take an urgent bathroom break and have a personal double-down. After a walk around the apartment and a few more sips of Pepsi, it was back to the abomination.

All in all, it took about an hour to complete the Double Down, which is about what I expected. There was no way for me to plow into a sandwich of this magnitude. I feel pretty good about completing it, but that may be calling the putt early. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, call the authorities. I love you all, and it's been a wild ride.

Peace.

Rock Band Obsession

It's getting serious. I gotta talk about it all the time. I'm still playing at the 'Easy' level, but I'm so addicted to playing the drums, I do it every night. I got a band started on there called Bitchsnatch, but it's just me and an ever-revolving lineup of singers and guitarists. So far, Bitchsnatch has conquered Chicago (our hometown) and New York, and now we're working on Boston.

I need more local friends who can play guitar to join my band, or to start a new band. As much as I love pounding away on those drums, it's more fun to show off those MAD DRUMMING SKILLZ with other people around.

Anyhow, a typical set list goes as such: a little Elvis Costello, either Paramore or Panic At The Disco, something challenging like that Chop Suey song, and always close it with "Livin' On A Prayer." ALWAYS. It's good times.

Froooo-eee...POP*

Man. I've lost some weight lately. I won't list sizes because people will say "are you complaining? I'd love to lose weight like that/be that size again," when I'm not even complaining, I'm just saying. ANYWAY. I dropped two (or three, I don't know how it goes) sizes in around a year, maybe less. I don't bother weighing myself so I don't know when it started to happen. The point is, part of me kind of worries about it, because while I don't think I changed my diet much, there must be something different going on. I think it's because I'm cutting back on boredom eating. If I'm sitting down and watching TV or a movie, I feel like I should have something to eat. I could have had a huge meal beforehand, but it's that theater reflex kicking in, saying, "you want some popcorn," or "wouldn't ice cream sound great?"

TANGENT: I've also recently developed something of a lactose intolerance, which fucking sucks, because I love ice cream and milk. I suppose it's time to get those lactaid pills or whatever. In fact, discovering this makes me crave ice cream even more, which is totally fucking annoying. END TANGENT.

So I cut out the boredom eating. But still I wonder, is that all there is? Someone made a joke about a tapeworm and I think back to the time I ate that raw beef** and wonder some more. But still. I'm not complaining, especially because I'm back into pants that I was wearing in college. I feel healthy, and I like that I shed the pounds I never wanted to begin with, but still...how did it happen?

* title has no relevance to post, it's just a phrase that's been stuck in my head all damn day.

** That didn't happen. But still...tapeworm?

Now on blip.fm!

You can now find me on the Twitter-like music site blip.fm. My DJ profile is http://blip.fm/annadynamite.

In other news, I have a couple more reviews on Cult Reviews available to read. My page there is http://www.cultreviews.com/author/anna-mckibben/.

As usual, I am on alt.slack (http://groups.google.com/group/alt.slack/topics) as Rev. Anna Dynamite, and on IMDb as annamae3. I tend to stick to the Horror Boards there (http://www.imdb.com/board/bd0000024/threads/).

I'm pretty proud of myself, yes.

I figured out the Mario Bros. theme song on my cell phone. Figured it out all by myself during a long day at work. It goes like this:

6664681-6412321-14675-642321

Now, it isn't perfect, because there isn't a full range of tones on a cell phone, but if you set your key tones to either piano or xylophone, it should work. Admittedly, this is kind of sad, but what else am I going to do for eight hours? Save the world?

Sometimes, things just go your way

Or they go my way, as shown in the following case.

A couple of days ago, I was looking at three upcoming bills that were due two and three days before my next paydate.

Hey, is "paydate" one word that I just made up, or is it supposed to be two separate words? I tend to forget. Anyhow. . .

So was looking at these bills and thinking to myself, "do I want to risk sending these bills in on time, but with bad checks? or do I want to send them in a little late but with good checks?" I like paying bills on time, you see, but I also like paying them with money I know I already have. I realize that companies tend to give you grace days on bills, but I don't like to use them.

The point is, I was getting stressed. I wondered, "why don't companies just make your bills due on your paydate, like a payday loan?" but then I realized that payday loans don't even fall on your paydate at some payday loan companies. They're just due every two weeks, regardless. I know this information, because I myself work for a payday loan company. Sometimes, it's a kick-ass job. More often than not, however, it's a PITA.

But I digress. The point really is, the very same day I was stressing about bills, I find out that I have a $750 check for mileage waiting to be deposited into my account. It seems that, yet again, I fall into a pile of horseshit and come out smelling like a pretty lady. This happens to me a lot. I'm certainly not going to complain about it; quite the contrary.

I took myself and a friend out for a shopping spree. I got her some belated birthday gifts, and some cool shit for myself as well, and I paid my bills before they were due. In other words, once again, I am pretty much awesome.

Guys, I have a lot of blogs. It's time to bring them all home.

I'm getting frustrated with blogs. In fact, the word itself makes me cringe a little. I think it's because everyone has one, and no one respects them. What's to respect? It's just faceless people on the Internet gibbering about shit that isn't important to anyone but them and maybe a handful of other people. It's like an inside joke--why talk about it in public when no one else is gonna understand it?

That said, here's another blog. I don't have a plan for it, unless "taking the world by storm" is a plan. That's more of a "thing that just happens." You can't account for three things: taste, weather and things that just happen. Wait. I guess I lied. My plan for this blog is to eliminate other blogs I've had in the past and incorporate them all into one place.

I knew there was a plan.