From 'Something Poetic and Random': a bit of a rattlesnake

i think it feels really good to smoke. at least, it feels so good in my dreams. i've had dreams of smoking for the last two or maybe three years. the first of these dreams involved me searching and searching for cigarettes. i would have this dream where i was driving to the gas stations with the intent to buy, but then i would wake up before completing the sale. sometimes i would be carded and i realize i forgot my license. sometimes i wouldn't have enough money.

the next dreams would be me obtaining said cigarettes, and even opening the pack and smelling the tobacco, but something would keep me from actually lighting and smoking them. sometimes it would be that the lighter was broken, but sometimes it would be because the gas station was robbed while i was there and i had to hide behind a rack of chips. end of dream.

the more recent set of dreams finds me enjoying the cigarettes, finally. i take great pleasure from lighting and inhaling, sucking in this wonderful feeling of love and warm and peace. sometimes these dreams are so powerful that my first thought on waking up is that i need to go buy a pack of smokes so i can be as happy as i am in my dream. there have been times that i will go get gasoline for my car and have to force myself to pay at the pump because i know if i go inside i will buy cigarettes.

i have never smoked in my life. i don't plan on starting to smoke. but this urge is coiled so tightly inside me like a spring that sometimes i am so afraid that i will become a smoker and die like my grandfather.

From 'Something Poetic and Random': some days i get thoughts that run on

they go for miles on end and sometimes my head will ache because i can't stop them enough to grab them and touch them and it makes me want to cry or sleep.

i think of films i've seen and books i've read and christmas and music and even the carpet sometimes. why isn't it cleaner? why am i lazy about the whole vacuum situation? does that mean i am defective in some miniscule way?

ugh. i want to maybe let my eyes fall out of my skull, because that is how it feels to have these thoughts that run on forever. i think my back is hurting too. maybe it is tired. maybe i should lie down and let everything slip away into some black void-a-ma-jig. but then i realize that my hair would be messed up and for some reason this will keep me awake until midnight. then i can't take it anymore and my eyes force me to sleep and i try to fight it and be angry about it but i just can't can't can't stay awake.

i think i need to just not go anywhere or do anything, but i always have places to go and things to do. it sounds lame to say no.

Such a slacker I am.

Hi. Remember me? It's been a terribly long time since I've posted anything here. I decided to change the name. The url is still the same, but I was: a) tired of Bitch Snatch (it's still amusing, don't get me wrong), and b) I remembered that a former college professor once called me a demented cheerleader and it cracked me up.

It's quite true, you know. I am a demented cheerleader. I say it with a smile, even when "it" is something terribly morbid or disturbing. I think it gives me a little something extra, no?

Anyhow, I'll be importing some posts from the other blogs I have here, just so I can eventually delete the multiple blogs. They're sitting dormant anyhow.

Now on blip.fm!

You can now find me on the Twitter-like music site blip.fm. My DJ profile is http://blip.fm/annadynamite.

In other news, I have a couple more reviews on Cult Reviews available to read. My page there is http://www.cultreviews.com/author/anna-mckibben/.

As usual, I am on alt.slack (http://groups.google.com/group/alt.slack/topics) as Rev. Anna Dynamite, and on IMDb as annamae3. I tend to stick to the Horror Boards there (http://www.imdb.com/board/bd0000024/threads/).

I'm pretty proud of myself, yes.

I figured out the Mario Bros. theme song on my cell phone. Figured it out all by myself during a long day at work. It goes like this:

6664681-6412321-14675-642321

Now, it isn't perfect, because there isn't a full range of tones on a cell phone, but if you set your key tones to either piano or xylophone, it should work. Admittedly, this is kind of sad, but what else am I going to do for eight hours? Save the world?

Thoughts I would like to share about the Duggar family

If you're not familiar with the Duggar family, please visit this page first. After that, please go here and here to see and hear my thoughts on this matter.

Thank you.

CultReviews(dot)com

This pleases me.

There is a website that is dedicated to reviewing horror and cult films, both well-known and obscure. It's helmed by a couple of wonderfully mad gentlemen from the Internet Movie Database Horror Boards, which I tend to frequent. Gert and Joel know their stuff, and it's a great-looking, easy-to-navigate website. There aren't a lot of reviews at this time, but I expect it to grow a respectable amount over the next few months and beyond. This is my invitation for you to visit the site, browse around, and read the reviews.

Visit Cult Reviews here. I think you'll be as pleased as I. You may even see a familiar face there.